


Prepared

by GreyWeeknds



Series: 30 days writing challenge [11]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 14:33:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyWeeknds/pseuds/GreyWeeknds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To be a dad is much harder than he first thought. He hadn’t expected that it would be a dance on roses, but he hadn’t ever imagined that it was going to be this hard. It wasn’t meant to be like this, making him sleepless on the nights and wondering what the hell he did wrong, and angry every time that his son touches his skin or grins too much. As a father he’s supposed to love his child every second of the day, it shouldn’t matter if the son does things that he hadn’t expected, he should love him anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prepared

To be a dad is much harder than he first thought. He hadn’t expected that it would be a dance on roses, but he hadn’t ever imagined that it was going to be this hard _._ It wasn’t meant to be like this, making him sleepless on the nights and wondering what the hell he did wrong, and angry every time that his son touches his skin or grins too much. As a father he’s supposed to love his child every second of the day, it shouldn’t matter if the son does things that he hadn’t expected, he should love him anyways. But he can’t help the feeling of disgust when little Harry climbs up in his lap and tries to pull off his beard to reveal that he’s in fact not Santa Claus. He can’t help it that he pushes Harry off hardly so that he falls down on the floor and the anger in his body gets loose. He can hear how the boy cries loudly when he sees that his daddy is standing in the doorway with the suitcases that’s been packed for almost three weeks now in the wardrobe. He decides that he wasn’t ready for being a father, and that both of his children will be much better with Anne. Maybe not tonight or the day after that, but in some years they will forget about him and they’d probably thank him if they could. Before he walks out of the house for the last time, he gives a fast peck with his lips on the red bruise that he is the cause of. Yes, it’s the right decision to leave the children alone with his soon to be former wife; he never wanted to be a family man in the first place anyways. He wasn’t just well prepared.

-

“I just don’t understand why you don’t want to have kids with me!” Niall yells fiercely.

“Because I just don’t want to.” Harry says stubbornly.

“You are unbelievable.” He hears the blonde mutters as he walks away from the room.

It’s not that he doesn’t like children, because he does, he loves them. But he’s not the right man for the work, if his dad weren’t then why would he be? He wouldn’t want to make his son or daughter feel as unwanted as he felt the whole time he grew up. Harry doesn’t want a relationship where he calls them on the holidays and sometimes on the birthdays if he still remembers them. He wants to be the kind of dad that makes a cake with his kid’s favourite superhero on it and tells them to wish for something before they blows out the candles.

He can hear how Niall is rattling with the crockery in the sink, cursing why he even is together with the brunette to begin with.

Nobody thought that they would last, they were do different they said. Niall was the day and Harry the moon, happy and sad, funny and boring, carefree and responsible. But they proved all their friends wrong; this was their seventh year that they had spent as a couple now together. There had been a lot of fights, but in the end they always kissed and made up. This time though, it didn’t felt like it was going to be as smooth as it had been before.

-

He could hear the sound of the teapot whistling on the stove burner in the background, he knew how his best friend always had a soft spot for the warm liquid. Harry knew that the older lad only waited to ask him the obvious question that was hanging awkwardly in the air.

“I can’t understand it Haz, not really. I mean you love Ni, and he loves you. He’s always been talking about having kids of his own since he were like sixteen or something. Why didn’t you just told him the truth about that you didn’t want any in the beginning, why did you wait until now?” Louis wondered.

“I don’t know really. I never wanted them, but I couldn’t find a good moment to tell him, so I just didn’t.” he replied as he looked shamefully down on the table.

“He’s not even answering _me_ when I try to call him, he’s never ignored my phone calls before.”

“It just feels like I’ve tricked him into believing that we were going to get married and get children and then crushed his dreams into dust.” He whined.

“Well… it’s because you have.” The man admits.

“Thanks for being a great friend.” Harry said sarcastically.

“Sure Haz, I’m always here for you.”

He walked up from the chair that he was sitting on, going slowly to the yellow wall with Louis and his wife laughing together surrounded by their kids. They look happy, and it’s a bit scary seeing the whole clones of Tomblinsons in one picture. Girls and boys with smiles that reach their ears, it looks so much like Louis’. He doesn’t think about it, but he touches the frames gently like though he could feel them under his skin.

“They’re the reason why I wakes up on the mornings.” Louis says proudly.

“Was you well prepared?” he hears his voice asking.

“Hell no, I was scared to death, but in the end it was still worth it.”

He lets his finger fall down before he decides to go to the empty chair again before he sends a text message to his boyfriend. He writes about how much he misses to embrace him on the nights and feel his lips pressed to his.

-

Carefully he puts his hand on the round belly, it feels weird to have the knowledge that there is a life growing inside of it. He glances up to the blonde, she smiles happily as she lays her hand above his as she caress lovingly small tiny circles on her skin. He grins widely when he meets her grey eyes, even though it’s a bit weird it’s really terrific.

“Isn’t it amazing.” He hears Zayn asking.

“Totally.” He breathes out fascinated.

He can’t rip his eyes away from the little life that is in there, swimming safely and not knowing about how the world is outside. For just a brief second he wonders how it would be like if he and Niall hired a girl to bear their baby, but then he remembers again that this is not the goal of his life, that it’s a genetic fault from his father to be a bad dad and it will all end in misery. The smile on his lips disappears before he takes away his hand, he can see the disappointment in the darker man’s eyes.

“You know, Niall called me yesterday.”

“Oh.” He says, because he literally doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say.

“He wondered if you had been here, asked about him.”

“What did you say?” he asks, because in some way he wants the raven to have lied and said that he was there every day, crying of not being in his presence.

“No of course.” He shrugs casually.

-

The brown and friendly eyes looks into his for a long while, he seems happier than the last time he saw him. When he visited him last year his hair had been standing out on all directions and his eyes were dry with red circles under them. Now there is a sleeping infant in his arms as he rocks it peacefully. She resembles the mum a lot, but the eyes is from Liam, nobody would argue with him on that.

He always thought that small babies like her whined and cried all the time, but she seems as silent as the night. He wonders how she feels, the pale skin looks really fragile and she has this chubby little stomach that all babies have. If she had been his and Niall’s, then she would be laughing all the time, like her daddy. Because he is certain that she would inherit the bubbly genes from the blonde. Perhaps she would be talking a bit funny too, something between British and Irish, his own little leprechaun.

“She’s really beautiful.” He whispers so that he won’t wake her up.

“Yeah, she is.”

“I could have one of those by myself, couldn’t I?” he asks.

“Yeah, you could.”

“I’m a total idiot, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, you totally are.” Liam grins before he sees the younger boy running the fastest he can away from the apartment.

-

It’s been nine months of waiting, but when he sees his baby boy in his proud husband’s hands he knows that it’s been worth it. He promises himself that he wont walk away, that he will be a good dad unlike his father. He will raise his son together with Niall and they will be happy, because they trust their lives with each other. Maybe he’s not that well prepared, but he loves every second of being in his new family. All he knows is that he wants to make his little boy smile every day, and he takes that as a good sign. When he holds his son for the first time he finally understand that there is nothing else in the world where he would rather be than here, with Niall and their baby. The last thing he thinks about before they leaves the hospital is that he’s already a much better dad than his father ever was. 


End file.
